A Bar of Soap

Another one inspired by ABL. Not sure why he had such an impact on me but he certainly has given me lots to write about! I last saw him on Gili Air in 2016 and it was after this I finally decided enough was enough and walked away. I remember quite vividly this soap incident and also remember thinking at the time how the anti-climax of what was hidden on the bottom of the soap really summed up the friendship/relationship.

Strange synchronicity; we holidayed on the very same isle
I was there with friends, you were solo you said with a smile.

You couldn’t find a room on Gili Air so you’d have to bunk up with me;
I should have said something sarky but was too full of glee.

So you stayed and I loved it but like the shells on the beach
You’d cut and then tear; let’s face it, you’re a leech.

You found me too gentle when I patched up your finger
And at the end of it all, when I hoped you would linger

You told me again you were happy just to be my old friend
But I craved you and felt rage that just wouldn’t mend.

One night, you went out, I wanted to feel you, to capture your scent
So I found your soap in the bathroom, saw your fingerprints feint.

I wanted to use it, trace marks on myself with soap trails of you;
I wanted to feel you, to smell you; pretend you wanted me too.

I’d always hoped our friendship would morph into something far more
But you’d always pulled and then pushed; kept my self-esteem on the floor.

Anticipating joy, I turned the soap over and found…
Clumps of sodden black hair in that great soapy mound.

I should have been in Berlin

My friend Josette, whom I love dearly, has (and she would say this herself) the worst luck when it comes to travel; weird and wonderful dramas abound whenever she tries to head off somewhere. This month she went to Berlin and her suitcase didn’t arrive. In fact it took an age to arrive; most of her trip to be precise. When we spoke about it I said I’d love to be able to speak with objects when things like this happen and started to speculate about what the suitcase would say about its journey…and sat down to write this silly poem. 

Ah Columbus, you never had these issues
your bag rode high on the tumultuous seas
it couldn’t get lost inside pesky air fissures.

As for me, we’d said goodbye at old Gatwick
she’d seen me off and gone straight to the bar
(I knew the routine, it was all pretty slick).

Stuck with a tag that was bound for Berlin,
imagine my surprise when I arrived in…
Lisbon, Tallin then finally Turin!

All those unexpected places and curious faces
I was vulnerable, alone, weighed with the guilt
that I had all her clothes, her make-up, shoelaces.

Oh for a pair of legs to get to the gate
I’d not have left it to the hapless air staff
I’d not have left it to God and to bloody old fate

but as it was I was stuck
(just another holiday drama)
all the while knowing she’d feel like a schmuck.

Josette, if I’d could I wouldn’t have seen
(this my apology to you, my blonde queen)
all those old cities and silly bland bits in between

because quite honestly it was all a bit boring, mundane
I didn’t see anything at all to be fair, to be sure
just me and the dreary old back of a plane.

I thought of you often, you must forgive me my sin
that I left you with just the clothes you stood in
I came when I could, even if it turned out
that I was too late; you were already leaving
that beautiful city we all call Berlin.

 

 

 

 

 

Notes from Sierra Leone

As part of my MA dissertation research, I spent four weeks in a town called Makeni that is situated in central Sierra Leone. I obviously knew about Sierra Leone’s history of civil war and Ebola so I wasn’t sure what to expect. It was a strange experience really, I’ve never been somewhere that had such a scarcity of ‘things’ nor was so difficult to explore due to its lack of infrastructure. There is such beauty to be found in its landscapes and people I really hope that Sierra Leone’s future is peaceful and prosperous. 

Waterloo junction sweats grease and thick dust;
the Kekes, they dip and then swing round ocadas
dodging trucks as they spew out their dense puffs of grey.
Graffitied, the taxis crawl like kaleidoscope beetles
edging their way through the hot traffic tangle.

The verge of the road is just splintered shop fronts
painted primary bold colours, peddling wares of all sorts.
There’s a boy with a toy made of string, cans and bottle tops
who runs through the car park trailing ash in his wake.

Urban roads of tarmac are quickly short-lived –
beyond the town boundaries it’s red, rock and mud.
It feels medieval out there with wood burning stoves,
women sweep swiftly with brooms of old twigs
whilst beside them palm fences grow grey in the sun.

Back in Makeni, a man walks with painstaking poise with
a basket of shoes perched heavily up on his head;
he traverses the traffic down Magburaka Road and
down here, the verges offer bellies green veg
while the feral dogs lie recumbent in the gutter, roadside
their pus-filled eyes and their open top sores
are just like a devil’s halo that throbs, the flies gnaw
at the wounds like a buffet –
It’s repulsive and shocking but you can’t look away.

The produce is scarce but the cigarettes are cheap
it’s where puppies die hot beneath the tall Kapok trees
while their parents howl and call out at the night;
insomniacs lie restless, soaked in their sweat
as the roaches traverse across sound asleep faces
and the worms make a home in the wells.

The pastor comes back,
He wants just to talk – just to talk?
And then you feel bad for thinking like that.
Abdul waits patiently wanting a job
and the bored khaki soldiers stand guard
beside the banks that don’t have Leones.

Up Wusum Hill, there’s a boy in a tutu following you
who gives a sassy answer or two
when you ask him to go, shoo, go far away.
Mary, so cold who shows strange sweet compassion
to dirty legs sprayed brown by the rain,
she cups her dark hands to help wash them clean,
as a teen, you learn, she got pregnant and ran away
from Kamakwie and suddenly you understand
her moods far more empathetically.

In Freetown the diamond dealers grab your hand at the parties because
you’re an Oporto*, an insipid white alien that everyone wants to point out and shout at
and you can’t wait to leave for where everything is clean, where you’re left all alone,
where the shops are filled with delicious smart things…
and then the guilt sets in because this is a trip, a sort of vignette,
a short-lived dream to be dipped in and out of,
for us it’s a choice but for them this is life.

 

 

*Oporto or ‘white man’ is literally shouted at you by pretty much everyone you walk past. Endearing at first, it quickly becomes pretty irritating!

 

 

 

Reclining on the Bitumen

I was with a couple of friends this weekend and we were laughing at a photo taken on the 31st December 2015 that subsequently went viral. It depicts Manchester at New Year and was described as a ‘beautiful painting’ on twitter by the BBC’s Roland Hughes. When I first saw it, it reminded me of Bruegel and his depictions of humanity in all its messy glory. The slightly tongue-in-cheek article described the man in blue as ‘reclining on the bitumen’ which we all found extremely comical. As is sometimes my way, I decided to use the line to write a poem based on the picture. I guess I ought to credit Michael Safi from the Guardian for his wry description and, of course, Joel Goodman for the photo.                                            

In my addled mind I was laying on a palanquin
Weary limbs adrift on the roily grey
A right royal slut reclining with legs akimbo
Flashing unashamed a sumptuous pale belly –
but then I glimpsed you.

Polyphemus; a hideous void of an eye
Fixated on my blue butterball frame.
I struck a coquettish pose for you,
for you, it was all for you
my telltale glassy sneak.

Nauseating lurid yellow flowers
Wavered in the corner of my eye
Joined in cacophony by a wilting tulip
All of them bent double over a writhing mass
Of dung heap brown wrestling quick to the gutter.

In this Roman arena of curious bystanders
It was in a half daze that I realised
I was reclining on the bitumen,
on undulating cushions of lumps of hard gum
spat rebelliously from pink fleshy tongues.

So, like the proverbial moth to a flame
I extended an arm and like a sentient squid
Wrapped my fingers around a glass full of promises
To shake hands with Old Bacchus,
to shake off your reproach.

New Years Night revellers